Ask the Experts...

...can you tell how nervous someone is by how many questions they ask?

I had my second beta test today, which was 4 days after my Thursday test, thanks to the weekend. The nurse said my numbers looked "really good" - 603. Doest that seem low to anyone? I thought they were supposed to double every day. Thursday was 101, Friday should have been roughly 200, Saturday 400, Sunday 800 and today about 1,60. No? Yes? I'm gonna have to Google this...

I swear I do sometimes ask my nurses and doctors questions. I was just a little surprised at the number and didn't want to ask because I was driving. (I am not one of those people who can talk and drive - disaster can result.) But when I called back, they didn't answer because (technically) they're all on holiday; I think just one or two people were in the office to do bloodwork.

Sigh. Somebody please reassure me that a 13dp5dt hCG number of 603 is okay. Please! (And then, I swear I will call my RE tomorrow and have her explain the whole thing to me.)

Okay, I just answered my own question. Turns out it doubles every 48-72 hours...not every day. Whew! So I'm right on track, it seems. I found my answers here: hCG Level in Early Pregnancy.

Weird Dreams and Cramps

Last night, I woke up with a pretty strong cramping feeling in my abdomen. Of course, I feared the worst, but there was no bleeding whatsoever. It was over in a few minutes. And (this part is embarassing, but I think we're past all that), passing gas actually seemed to help.

Is this normal? My doctor's office won't be open until Monday, and even then I'm not sure who will be there. I've read online (ahh, the great information center) that cramping is normal and can be a sign that my uterus is getting ready to carry a baby for nine months. That's good news!

It still makes me nervous though, as does sneezing, caughing, or laughing too hard. Or going down stairs. I'm going to be nervous until month nine, I can tell already.

I've also been having very weird dreams the last few nights. I've been told that dreaming actually only occurs in the last few minutes of your sleep, as you regain consciousness. That makes sense, especially because I've been getting up really early to go to the bathroom, and then trying to go back to sleep. Last night there was water-skiing, women's lingere, and paintball guns involved. I won't even go there...

But still happy that I am experiencing this feeling...it's all going to work out.

Pinch Me.

It still doesn't feel completely real.

Maybe I'll go out and buy a (brand new) HPT and give myself the satisfaction of seeing those two pink lines.

I still don't really feel much different. Every once in a while my uterus makes itself known - not really a "cramp", but something like it. My chest is still sore, but no identifiable changes as yet.

I really just want to wake up one morning and feel full-blown morning sickness. I think then I will truly feel pregnant. That and I'd like my boobs to grow another cup size. (I've been wanting that to happen for a loooong time.) Maybe then I'll really feel pregnant.

I will admit to you, because you won't tell anyone, that I am one of those crazy people who started collecting baby paraphanelia about 6 months before we started trying (in 2008). Therefore, I have a box of books, baby clothes, and toys in my shed that have never seen the light of day. Today, for the first time in three years, I took out the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting". And for the first time ever, I got to move past 'Chapter 1 - Are You Pregnant?'. Because, dang it, I AM pregnant. I also bought a real bottle of Prenatal vitamins at the store yesterday. (Don't worry, I've been taking a women's multivitamin with folic acid and vitamin D suplements up to this point. My doctor said that was fine.) But it felt so good to go to the register and buy something that pregnant women buy.

I am excited and trying not to be nervous. Every other "normal" woman gets to be excited as soon as she sees the pink lines...and I deserve that, too.

Thank you all for your congrats...I'm excited for myself and for the other ladies who have gotten their good news this month, too.

I Cheated...and Cheaters Never Prosper

Last night I took a pregnancy test that had been sitting in my cabinet for a while. I knew that you should usually test in the morning, and that the test might be old, but I did it anyway so that I could prepare myself for this morning. As I was waiting for the stick to turn colors, I yelled at it: "I know what you're going to say, so just say it." It was negative.

So this morning, when I went to get my blood drawn, I was not overly excited. I was sure that my lack of symptoms, coupled with the negative HPT, would spell failure. I left feeling tired and cranky.

An hour later, my favorite nurse called me back.
"Hey Ashlee, how are you?"

"I'm okay. How are you doing?"

"Good, thanks. Now, I hear that you took a HPT last night and it came out negative?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Well, you need to buy a new pregnancy test, because it was wrong. You are pregnant."

I am pregnant. My HcG was 101, and anything over 5 is considered "pregnant". It's not high enough to be twins (probably), but it's a very strong number for one tiny little baby.

I am not going to be "cautiously optimistic". I am going to be overjoyed. I am goig to revel in every aspect, every minute, of the next nine months until I'm holding my first child in my arms. This is the day we've been waiting three years for, and we deserve it.

Here's hoping that everyone else who had a June IVF is going to get the same result. Horray for March babies!

5 Days Past...

Well, it's day 5 of my 1.5ww, and there's not much new to report.

My belly has finally gone back to almost-normal, which is nice. I've also been having a little bit of cramping over the last two days, and I don't know what to think about that. Good sign? Bad sign? Hard to tell. I really wish I could have a definitive sign either way...

You know what else is hard to tell? What kind of care I'm getting at my RE. I've noticed that some women get bloodwork done after their retrieval...I didn't. Is that bad? I have no idea what my hormones where doing the day after my little embryos were taken. I was put on Doxycyclne and Methylpred for a few days after, then started progesterone suppositories and an estradol patch...but no bloodwork. Is this wrong?

I am by nature not a very detail-oriented person. I tend to just go with the flow and trust the people around me to do what is right. But should I have been under more supervision over this last week? How did my RE know that the transfer would be a success even if she's not monitoring my hormone levels? Does it matter? Do I have a penchant for asking questions when it's really too late to matter?

Hmmmm.

Just Chillin'

I don't feel a thing. No cramps, no nothin'. I guess that's good, right? I don't exactly want to be cramping and uncomfortable while I'm sitting on the couch eating bon-bons. Okay, I'm not really eating bon-bons...more like a steady diet of protiens (yay for eggs!), V8, and Gatorade.

It's so frustrating not to have an immediate sign! I wish there were a little light that turned on, a feeling you get, or a change in something that could tell me if this worked or not. The more I hear, however, the more I realize that my test, on June 30th, will likely be the first confirmation that I have that this all worked out. Some women get sick after a few days, some don't feel any symptoms until their fourth week!

Sigh. Why are we all different? Why couldn't bodies be the same? Oh yeah, because then I woudln't need IVF in the first place.

Thank goodness for Netflix.

So Many Things...

Yesterday was the transfer!

On Sunday, we had 8 little fellas who looked "very good" for a day-5 transfer, according to the embryologist, which sounded good to me. With this in mind, I thought we'd have a few to freeze. But yesterday when we went in, we had two to put in and only one to freeze. One?! I started with 25 eggs and only one will be left to freeze? I wish she hadn't told me that, because my mood instantly changed. I have given up trying to explain how my mind works when I'm on several different kinds of hormones, but I can tell you that I would have been much happier if she would have said at least two or three.

In any case, we had an A/B+ embryo and a B+/A to put in yesterday, and I've been hanging out on the couch ever since. I've had NO cramping, which I guess is good news, just still pretty bloated from the retrieval.

I hope everything is going well down there, but it's so hard to imagine this working. What is with my mood? I should be overjoyed that everything went well and optimistic about the two little embryos in my belly right now! Sigh. I blame it on the drugs. Evil drugs.