We all knew it was going to happen - the imminent emotional meltdown that comes from spending too much time in the company of babies. I thought I would be able to get through the week of being with my sister and her family, but today I made an idiotic mistake: I volunteered to help make my niece's scrapbook pages for the first 12 months of her life. Why, you ask? Because it needed doing and I'm darn good at stuff like that. And I was doing fine until...
...I got to all the cards that the rest of my family had sent to my sister and my niece when she was born. They were signed by my own dad, brothers, and grandparents. I could hear the pride in their voice and the joy in their words as they wrote to congratulate my sister and her husband on their newest addition. (The last addition to my family had four legs and did not get an adorable announcement / shower.) It hurt so much to know that I may not be able to give my parents and family the satisfaction of seeing their daughter / sister / whatever make a contribution to the continuation of our family lineage. I may not see (at least in the forseeable future) the look of utter happiness on my Dad's face when he gets to finally dress up his grandaughter (that has his nose) in Harley Davidson garb. (Let it be known that my sister is really my step-sister, so I still feel like having a baby would be a "first" for my Dad, as it is just a little different with your blood-relations. Let it also be known that I love my sister dearly.)
Luckily, when the situation became too much and I began to shed big, fat tears, she totally understood. She said all the right things and none of the bad ones ("It will happen..."). She hugged me and admitted that she didn't know what it must feel like - which she doesn't.
So, we got that out of the way. Now can I just enjoy being with my family in Germany, for crying out loud?! Because my little niece is just adorable, and taking photos of her is so much fun...
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