Showing posts with label 101 ways to get a baby (that I wouldn't really do for real). Show all posts
Showing posts with label 101 ways to get a baby (that I wouldn't really do for real). Show all posts

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me

Where is the justice in the world? There's a couple trying to give a baby away (before they "throw it in the dumpster") and I can't get my hands on one to save my life? It just doesn't make any sense.

In times like these, I have to question the sanity (or sense of humor) of Nature. I also have to call up my brother, the fireman, and remind him of "Plan F." (If anyone ever drops a baby off at the fire station for safe haven, he is to pick up the child, nonchalantly declare that his sister obviously dropped his niece / nephew off for him to babysit, and call me immediately. I will be on the next flight to SoCal to pick up the wee bairn.) It's a foolproof plan.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Let's Call This...Plan X

For the past two years, I've been joking about "adopting" a baby from another country. (You make it all look so easy, Angelina.) The quotation marks, as you can probably imagine, are my way of saying that I'm just going to downright take one and avoid all the messy paperwork and financial entrapments of a legal adoption. (This is where I hope that Big Brother is not, in fact, reading my blog.) Well, the husband and I are leaving for England and Germany on our big trip tomorrow, and the question remains: which country of origin do I want my little progeny to hail from? I figure it probably needs to be a poorer country, so England is definitively out. Switzerland is so small that they'd probably miss a fraction of their population if I took a child out of the country, so that's out, too. Poland? The Czech Republic? Oooh, how about an Austrian baby? He/she could grow up to be the next governor of California, for all I know. With the good German surname that I have now, I may just want to fritter away a little Germany baby - less suspicious. If only Croatia were closer…

Of course, if this IUI works out, I may not need to steal a baby after all. For the sake of my husband, personal freedom, and the good reputations of my family and friends: let's all hope that plan A works out and I won't be held up in an international prison for the better part of decade. Conjugal visits would NOT be the ideal way to continue TTC. Wish me luck, y'all!