I've never really relied on luck to win me anything. In the 3rd grade, I won a poetry contest by writing a poem about the Earth and it's destruction. It was a hot-button issue and I was pretty sure that writing a thought-provoking narrative of Earth wasting away would definitely sway the jury. Then, in the 6th grade, I wrote a heart-wrenching essay about my family and the ties that bind. It was a shoe-in. Then, in high school, I tried out for the cheerleading team. Even though I had never done it before, I was leaving nothing to chance during my try-out - I learned how to do a back handspring. Man, did that thing ever come in handy.
Infertility, on the extreme other hand, is all about luck. Any time anyone decides to try for a baby, they're rolling a little ball on a roulette table and hoping it lands on "pregnant." For some, landing on one of those coveted spaces is open to a 50/50 chance. For others, it's about 25%. For still others, it's about a .5. (That would be me.) There's nothing you can do (that doesn't fall into the category of 'supersticious mumbo-jumbo') that can guarantee your chance of having a baby. Even those expensive drugs and humiliating procedures (seriously? IUI? Evil.) only increase your chances. INCREASE - not guarantee. Leaving my chances of happiness and fulfillment to pure chance is the most frustrating and demoralizing thing I've ever done. I don't even play the lottery, for cryin' out loud! So to gamble (literally) thousands of dollars on an unknown lucky number has seemed senseless. It is so…un-me. I suppose that I'll just have to keep the faith that one day I'll get the jackpot.
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