I Dreamed a Dream

"Though dreams can be deceiving, like faces are to hearts, they serve for sweet relieving when fantasy and reality lie too far apart…"

-Fiona Apple

I very rarely have dreams about the things I want. Most often, my dreams are about odd, surreal, fictitious places and strange situations. My dreams are, frankly, pretty weird. My conscious thoughts don't ever make it into my dreams, where you're supposed to be able to escape to an Eden of your own making. So when I awoke this morning clutching my belly and thinking that moments ago I felt the heartbeat of a baby, I knew that babymaking had been pushed so far into my subconscious that I was actually dreaming about it. Maybe it's because I'm completely immersed in school (oh, lesson plans, how I love to hate you), or maybe it's because we're taking some time off, but babymaking hasn't exactly been in the forefront of my mind this month. Yes, we're still trying the natural method (BBT, herbs, etc.), but I haven't had an RE appointment in over a month now. It's been nice.

But it's made me think: There ought to be about three different words for "dream".

1. There are the dreams that you really have when you sleep. They are strange an often incomprehensible, and very rarely leave you with the impression that you just lived a moment in your perfect world.


2. There are "dreams" that you have for your life. These should more aptly be called aspirations or goals.


3. There are the hypothetical dreams that you have about things that you long for but know you can't have. It's like when I say that Bear Grylls is dreamy, or I dream of being dropped of in Tahiti with Bear Grylls. (What? He's been on my Facebook feed a lot lately; I can't help it.) These are not the things you ever really dream about when you sleep…unfortunately.
   
   Nevertheless, I have to say that it was nice to experience the joy of pregnancy for a fleeting moment...even if it was all in my mind.