I was reading a book the other day (The Godmother, by Carrie Adams) which deals a lot with fertility issues in a fictional setting. At one point, the main character comments on all the detritus that her friend has collected over the years as a result of her non-child-related hobbies, meant to keep her mind off of not being a mother. All of her crafts, however, just end up being reminiscent of pregnancy or child-rearing. She simply could not keep her mind off of what it truly wanted - to be a mom. Sometimes, especially in the summer, I need something to focus on besides infertility. While talking about / blogging about my emotional state seems to keep my meltdowns at bay, it can't be the center of all my attentions. I think about the character in "Finding Nemo" who says: "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming." So, I have my one time-consuming hobby - jewelry - that I can always fall headfirst into. It's one of those hobbies that requires your full attention. Since I make my jewelry by hand, creating a new necklace or pendant seems to fit the bill. Even when I don't want to spend the energy creating something, I have "busy-work" that I can set myself to, like making charms or putting chain together. When I feel myself beginning to notice the stillness in the house or the emptiness of my time, I start swimming…creating something, doing something, being something. It's better than nothing. (Plus, the proceeds of my sales offset the cost of all those fun fertility drugs! Bonus!)
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