It's amazing what you consider to be "great" when you're infertile. All those drugs, all those shots, and you start to feel like there's something so wrong with you that you should have a second head or a large bleeding wound somewhere. In reality, there's nothing noticeable about you that screams "my reproductive tract is broken!", and your disappointment in yourself is very internalized. So when you go to your RE for the fourth time this month and she tells you that you have a very "pretty" uterine lining, or a "lovely little follicle" growing in your ovary, you take it as a supreme compliment. You've been working damn hard on those follicles! Every day it's a new pill or suppository…nobody tells you that you did a great job remembering to take all your pills while giving a make-up spelling test at lunch. No one pats you on the back because you gave yourself a shot in the belly before bedtime. You just suck it up and do what you need to do. Your only reward is hope. You don't really need anyone to tell you that you're doing a bang-up job and that you're a brave little soldier. But, it's nice to hear it once in a while.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
It's the Little Things (like an 8.7 Uterine Lining and Three Healthy Follicles) That Make Life Grand
It's amazing what you consider to be "great" when you're infertile. All those drugs, all those shots, and you start to feel like there's something so wrong with you that you should have a second head or a large bleeding wound somewhere. In reality, there's nothing noticeable about you that screams "my reproductive tract is broken!", and your disappointment in yourself is very internalized. So when you go to your RE for the fourth time this month and she tells you that you have a very "pretty" uterine lining, or a "lovely little follicle" growing in your ovary, you take it as a supreme compliment. You've been working damn hard on those follicles! Every day it's a new pill or suppository…nobody tells you that you did a great job remembering to take all your pills while giving a make-up spelling test at lunch. No one pats you on the back because you gave yourself a shot in the belly before bedtime. You just suck it up and do what you need to do. Your only reward is hope. You don't really need anyone to tell you that you're doing a bang-up job and that you're a brave little soldier. But, it's nice to hear it once in a while.
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Hey - you are doing a bang up job! And you are the bravest little soldier I've ever met! I think you deserve a big pat on the back, or maybe an extra large bowl of ice cream, for remembering to take your pills and (ouch!) shots. Keep up the good work, and my fingers are staying crossed my friend!
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