Waking Up

I can remember a particular dream I had when I was little...

My mom had let us go shopping, and I had gone nuts at Mervyns. I bought clothes and shoes and things that I never could afford in real life. With my mountins of goods, I went home. I couldn't believe how lucky I was: All the kids at school would be so jealous of my new clothes and they would think I was the coolest kid ever! Placing them all carefully at the foot of my bed, I blissfully went to sleep.

And the next morning, I woke up. There was no mountain of clothing at the foot of my bed, not even a sock. I was devastated.

Over the last few days, I've been returning to my normal life. I get up, go to work, and do all the things I did before summer (and my newfound state) began. I've never been pregnant at work before. I've never sat at my desk, checked my staff mailbox, or decorated my classroom as a pregnant woman. It has lead to one thing...disbelief.

I wake up in the morning, get up, and have to remind myself that I really am pregnant. As life returns to normal, I suddenly expect the beautiful surprise of finding myself almost 10 weeks along to disappear, just like the mountain of clothing of my youth. But it is real. It is happening. And I'm trying to envision, every day, myself in a few months...waddling down the halls. This is one dream that I hope I never wake up from.