The Last Time I'll Wear This Skirt...

...at least until next school year! I fit into only about three of my skirts now, so this was one of the last ones. My mom got me a giant cache of maternity clothes (I love you Mom...and Craigslist) from our in CA and sent them to me. So, at least I'm not trying to squeeze into my my jeans!

We are on our way to KS tomorrow (yay for a substitute!) for a wedding, which we are photographing. (I did mention that we moonlight as wedding photographers, right? Well, we do.) It's my husband's cousin, so it will be exciting to see some family there. It's the first time I'll get to be the "pregnant daughter-in-law". I'm excited. And my husband's mom made sure to tell us to "get out and walk around on the drive over." Of course we knew that already (9 hours in the car...oh joy), but it was fun to hear advice from his mom.

Here's what my baby bump looks like this week!

Yes, I'm Still Here...In the Closet

Okay, I have a confession to make: I haven't told the world that I'm pregnant.

I'm at 15w5 days.

I still haven't bought a single baby item. (I did cave in on the maternity pants because my other pants won't button.)

Am I weird? Am I in denial? Am I ever going to be able to fully embrace this? I feel like (already?) a horrible mom-to-be. I keep telling myself (and others) that they can pass on the news at my 12 week...no wait, how about the 16 week...no, the 20-week. We finally had to tell extended family because we're going to a wedding this weekend and I didn't want to "reaveal" my condition as I walk in the door looking like I swallowed a whole cantelope. (Yeah, you can kinda tell.)

But I cannot bring myself to step out of the closet. I haven't made an announcement at our staff meeting at school, I haven't posted anything on FB....I'm just so nervous. Maybe it's habit? Maybe it's nerves? I don't know.

Look Ma, No Head!

I would love to post a picture of my glowing, smiling face...but I really can't. As a teacher, I would be mortified (and maybe even reprimanded?) if any of my students ever found out that I wrote a blog that routinely referenced my hoo-ha. But, I always love seeing belly pics of all of you, so I thought I had to contribute.

Without futher ado, here is my belly:

It's just a little belly, but it's there. You can hardly tell it exists when I wear full skirts or flowy shirts. Put on a tank top and it's all over, though. Even still...I think I notice it much more than anyone else. No one has asked to touch it yet. Or just reached out and touched it. When that happens, I will know that I have truly arrived in Pretnant-town.

I Have My Moments

At work (school), I have my moments of calm, effectiveness, and (dare I say) occasional brilliance. And lately, my classes have been going really well. Things are all coming together in my fourth (yes, it has really taken that long) year of teaching middle school. Classes are running smoothly, the kids are actually writing when asked to...it's good.

But in the last week, I have had my moments.

There was the moment yesterday when the computer lab went haywire in the middle of my kids' quiz, and I went stomping down the hall, ranting about how it's "rediculous" and "shameful" that our computer lab is so woefully inadequate. Then there was the moment on Tuesday when the kids started pouring into my room after lunch a whole 6 minutes too early...and I used very large hand gestures while...ahem...suggesting to the cafeteria monitors that they call the kids back.

My mind is playing tricks on me. Tricks called "crazy." Can I blame this on pregnancy? Or am I just getting weirder as I get older / more comfortable at work? Please discuss.

I Took a Picture

My mom has been begging me, my dad asked last week, and my step-mom mentioned it this morning: Am I getting a baby bump?

I just have this fear, a superstition, really, that if I buy a pair of maternity pants, or say "I'm pregnant!" to too many people, or take a belly picture, or even open the boxes of baby paraphenalia stuffed in the back of the shed...

...I won't say it. You know what I'm feeling. I tell myself, "Just get to week 8 and you can buy a baby book." Then, "At week 12, I'll take a belly picture." And yet I don't do those things.

Little by little, I do. I took 'What to Expect...' out of the box in the shed. I took a picture and sent is just to my parents. I told one more person at work. I keep looking at my ultra-sound pictures, rubbing my belly, and looking things up on the internet...like what kind of cake I want at my shower. Little things...intangible things...things not touched by my superstition. Every week I become more confident, more excited, and more determined. For you and because of you, little baby, I am happier every day.

Best Day of My Life!

Can you tell that it was a good appointment? I was prepared to see a baby with a head today (as opposed to the lima bean from last time), but nothing could have prepared me for this...

In the first picture, you can't see his/her head, but it's a great "sitting on his butt" shot. That's an arm reaching up toward the top of the picture. In picture two, s/he lying on his/her back, butt in the air, and little hands showing up as armless (I promise they are there) spots it the darkness.

Our baby was jumping and kicking and playing with his/her hands. I thought we would be able to just see it move an arm slowly, but this was incredible! Little Tater Tot was so active! I can't seem to get Billy Madison out of my head, "He's gonna be a soccer player, yes he is!" (Lame, I know, but hilarious.) At one point, s/he even did a complete 360 and turned all the way around. It looked like a litte marionette on strings.

Whew. What a day. The best day. Ever.