Tuesday, July 27, 2010

No, Seriously, Give Me a Baby

I have obviously been blessed with an uncommonly supportive family. Over the past month or so (as news of IUI #3's inevitable and crushing failure makes its rounds), I have had two female relatives tell me that they'd be happy to carry my baby for me. I find this offer to be both generous and frustrating. Why? Well, on one hand, it is nice to know that if I decide to go the surrogate route (which I'm not at all opposed to), I won't have to pay a surrogate to carry my kid. It's also nice to know that there are people who love and respect me enough to endure 9 months of physical torture in order to allow me to be a mom. That's just plain touching. But on the other hand…

…when I say "have a baby for me", I mean for them to naturally conceive a child - thereby avoiding all crazy scientific procedures, expensive drug-induced menstrual cycles, and weeks on end of time-consuming doctor's visits. They mean that they would be happy to have my fertilized egg artificially implanted in their womb. I want it to be as easy for me to have a kid (and just as cheap) as it is for others. This may seem odd to some people, but I'd rather have a child that does NOT share my genetics than go into massive debt ('cause there's no guarantee that I'll even be able to conceive with one, two, or three IVF procedures) in order to have one that does. In other words, I'll take any baby I can get, and let's face it, it doesn't cost anything or take that much effort for most people to get pregnant. I feel like if it's free and easy for everyone else to get pregnant, it should be free and easy for me. Won't someone just go out, get knocked up, and give me the baby? How is this any different from adoption? Am I shallow and strange? Agh. I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of Crazytown. I would give anything to my brothers or sisters - even a vital organ. All I'm asking for is one of something that they can have over and over again. Is that so bad?

3 comments:

  1. I know how you feel.

    Well I have had many egg donation offers or the "why don't you just adopt" comment a lot. I never asked for eggs and who said anything about adoption, which I am not opposed to.

    I know you will have a baby. Stay positive. (((hugs)))

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  2. I agree...after all we've been through, wouldn't it be nice if someone could just give us a baby to have, to hold, to treasure, to raise, and call our own? bummer it doesn't work that way...we just gotta go through what we gotta go through.

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  3. Thanks, gals. At least now I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. (And if I do go to Crazytown, I'm not going to be the only one there.)

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