No Drugs...No Problem

Today is the day that I stop relying on modern medicine and start relying on my own body.

Crap.

Wait, I can do this, right? My doctor said that there is no reason why I can's support a pregnancy just like every other red-blooded woman. Worrying will not help, and worrying will not make my little one grow any faster / healthier. I need to be positive and strong.

And drug-free. Here we go...

My New Favorite Show

I know that most IF-ers will be incredulous, but I have a new favorite show: 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.'

Let me explain: I have virtually no pregnancy symptoms. I feel tired and get bloated very easily, but that's about it. Without my ultrasound, I wouldn't even think that I really was pregnant at all! So when an entire show is dedicated to a bunch of women with so few pregnancy symptoms that they don't even know they're pregnant until they deliver a baby in the bathroom (because they think they're constipated or their apendix burst), I feel better about my own pregnancy. Maybe there is hope for me!

I don't really want to give birth in a ladies' room, but I do want to know that it is possible to carry a baby without feeling sore, crampy, nauseous, or huge. I feel none of those things, but I have to keep hoping and believing that my little one is safe and sound...and growing.

That's Right, I'm HOT!

It gets pretty hot here in the summertime - usually around 97 on a good day. Since I am home every day (ahh, the joys of being a teacher), I am subject to whatever temperature it gets. Oh, and I should mention that we've never installed a cooler in our 100+ year-old house. In past summers, I've been just fine. I open the windows in the morning and then close them up when the temp heats up.

Oh, not this summer. After breaking down one day as I was putting cool wash cloths on my face and neck, I told my husband that the heat was literally unbearable. I made him put in a swamp cooler. Life has never been better! Now I can run that baby in the afternoons and the house gets down to a manageable temperature.

Just last night, my husband finally said, "You get hot really easily." Gee, darling, fter six years of not minding the heat, do you think that this summer is a little different for a reason? Is it me, or does pregnancy make you increasingly suseptable to heat? Don't we still technically have a fever of sorts?

For your viewing pleasure, here is a picture of my dog, doing what we do best this summer - taking a nap. She's hilarious.

Feeling Achey

Somehow, it feels different from cramps. It may be lower, even. But I am re-telling myself what my nurse told me on Monday: I will feel cramps and maybe even an occasional pain in my abdominal area. It's okay - my uterus is stretching and my little bean sprout is growing...hopefully a head. And arms. Those are essential.

For the first time (it only took three full weeks), I think I have finally accepted that I am pregnant. The ultra-sound helped a lot, as did my doctor's insistance that I have just as good a chance as any woman to have a happy, healthy pregnancy. I think I might just be pregnant after all. Now if I could fast-forward time to week, say, 28...that would be great.  :)

What is this, college?

I live in a small town...have I mentioned that? Of the three OBG/GYNs in town, one I have been to and dislike, the other relies on the previous doctor to deliver when he's not available, and the third is new and no one knows anything about her. Sigh. So I've been calling around in the biggest nearby town to try and find a doctor that will see me.

In the first call, to a clinic that has two DOs, I was asked to submit my records for review, and if they accepted me, they'd call me back. What? Do you want me to write an essay explaining why I'd be a good patient? How about I come in for a try-out, wherein I demonstrate my excellent breathing technique and physical strengh?

The next clinic's receptionist said that she'd have to "check with the doctor" to see if she'd want to see me, considering I was an IVF patient. I feel like a leper. Ooh, IVF? I don't know...your baby might have two heads or something...

I want to stay with my current doctor and my lovely, kind, sweet nurse. I love them and they love me. But I suppose, since they love me, they have to set me free...boo.

The Most Beautiful Thing I've Ever Seen...

...is this little picture right here. I went in for my 6-week ultra-sound on Monday, and this is what I got. A heartbeat.

I was so nervous to go in, because my symptoms (what few there were) seem to be subsiding a little bit. My chest is not as sore (though still about a size and half bigger), though I have been really tired and bloated again.

Nevertheless, as I lay on the table and stared at the screen, this little gem of a blip showed up and, low and behold, a little flashing white dot that was a strong, beautiful, amazing 150bpm heartbeat. That's my baby. She/he's as big as a pencil eraser, but larger than life on that monitor.

Darn you, internet doctor!

Of course I am all over the internet these days, looking for websites that will tell me that my appointment on Monday is going to be fine, even though I don't seem to have any preggo symptoms.

Then I came accross an article on What to Expet that had this little gem of a quote for their 'Week 6' appraisal:

Nausea and vomiting: Whether you are experiencing slight queasiness or hurling breakfast, lunch, or dinner (or all three), look on the bright side. (Though admittedly it’s hard to look at the bright side when your view is the porcelain goddess!) Women who experience some nausea are significantly less likely to miscarry than those who don’t.

Well, that's just great. No only am I not necessarily craving anything, but I'm not even disgusted by anything! I know, I know, not every website is a paragon of factuality...my mom says that she never had nausea, and she had three perfectly wonderful pregnancies.

I am at six weeks today. My boobs are still fairly big, but no real "veins" or serious changes. I did feel a little tired today, but that might come with the "I've-been-avoiding-strenuous-activity-because-I'm-petrefied-that-anything-could-shake-loose-my-baby" lifestyle I've been living. Less activity actually makes me more tired. I need my runner's high back! Don't worry, I'm not going to go running just yet...

...but I am going to stop reading articles online. I'll stick to the info that I get from my checkups. The next one is on Monday and the wait is killing me! Come on, little baby...let's hear that heartbeat.